


Diamonds and Lemons and Lumps

by PatterCake



Category: Adventure Time, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Minecraft, also while all lemongrabs are autistic this one has echolalia in chapter 1 lol, autistic lemongrab, creeper? aw man!, diamonds and lemons, so we back in the mine got our pick axe swinging side to side, this is for pure silly fun don't take it too seriously, this takes place in whatever alternate reality the minecraft special takes place in
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:14:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26817928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PatterCake/pseuds/PatterCake
Summary: I am personally vindicated that Lemongrab and LSP both appeared in the Diamonds and Lemons special and both exist in the minecraft Adventure Time crossover reality... yet we never saw them interact? What the hell is this? I'm victimised.So anyway this will be a collection of lumpygrab oneshots starring their minecraft versions. They're gonna build a house and put their beds together in it because I said so.Chapter 1 - building a house (in Minecraft)Chapter 2 - minecraft bee minecraft bee minecraft b
Relationships: Earl of Lemongrab/Lumpy Space Princess
Kudos: 6
Collections: lumpygrab fics by me





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> what if we... built a house together in minecraft... and we were both alternate reality minecraft versions of our true selves that just so happen to be dating each other? Just kidding...
> 
> Unless...

LSP set down another wood block and sighed overdramatically. She glared at her handiwork and let out a groan at the stupidness of it all. She’d been tirelessly slaving away building the best, most beautiful, most princess-worthy house in the world and this was all she had to show for it. 

Three blocks. One of them was a dirt block that had already been there before she came. None of them were even touching.

“Whatever,” LSP said flippantly, “When it’s finished it’s gonna be so wow, everyone’s gonna wish they never kicked me out of the gravel gang. I like, totes deserve a break.” 

She was building her house in the middle of a grass plain biome because that way her house would stand out as the most beautiful thing around. It would definitely become a nationally renowned landmark, but it did mean her immediate surroundings were boring. She floated around in the grass looking for entertainment until she spotted something. 

It was only a tree but she went to investigate anyway. Maybe it was an apple tree! LSP hadn’t eaten since she left her gang and her hunger bar was running pretty low, so she made a beeline for it.

She reached it and started punching up at the leaves when she noticed something. There was something… obnoxiously yellow coloured standing next to her. She slowly turned and saw a creature dressed in a grey work uniform, with what looked like a rectangular lemon for a head and a nose exactly like the Ice King’s (or gravel_boyxx420 if you called him his gang name), standing and staring at her.

She stared back. Neither of them said anything or moved. 

“Soo…” she said eventually, “are you like… a super ugly new mob, or something? Are you gonna attack me? Do I need to get my totally cool diamond sword out?” that was a lie- all LSP had was a stick. 

“Nnnnngh…” said the creature, “I am… not aaaa mob. I am… angry…”

It wasn’t a mob so it was going to attack her and LSP was way too cool to talk to this loser. She just muttered “Whatever.” and went back to attacking the foliage.

“NNGH NO NO NO!” The yellow thing swatted at her while screaming, “MY TREE! MY BEAUTIFUL TREEEE! You are nngh damaging my royal property… how dare you.”

“Oh I dunno,” LSP just floated out of reach of his hits and started rooting around at the top of the tree, “how dare I.”

Lemongrab screamed until his rectangular eyes nearly popped out of his head at this unacceptable behaviour. Did she have any idea what he’d had to go through to get that tree? How much bonemeal he’d lathered all over it only to be given apples instead of lemons? It was absolutely unacceptable! But unacceptable or not this tree was his and he wouldn’t stand for some floating purple thing attacking it. 

“Whhhyyyy do yoouu… seek tooo harm my precious little tree!?” he yelled at her. 

LSP popped her head over the leaves. “Because I’m hungry for apples, dumdum. Now go play your stupid little games somewhere else.”

Lemongrab narrowed his eyes and made aggravated noises. Not only was this thing senselessly attacking his tree it was insulting him. But he had learned what its motive was, and maybe if he gave it what it wanted it would leave. “If Iiii give your… disgusting self an apple… will you promise to go away?”

“You have apples?” LSP said hopefully. 

Lemongrab nodded enthusiastically. “Yes. Yes Iii do. I have many mmm morsels. I have pie. I was pied for my apples.”

“You have a pie?” LSP shot back down immediately. “Gimme gimme!”

“On one condition!” Lemongrab sternly held up a yellow hand to stop her and looked at her seriously, “You must give mee your word that you will leave me and my tree in peace.”

“Yeah yeah okay sure fine who cares.” LSP said quickly and made grabbing motions with her hands, “Now gimme the pie!”

Lemongrab gave LSP the pie Treetrunks had given him and she devoured it. There wasn’t a single crumb left. LSP patted her stomach with satisfaction but her happiness was short lived. She’d had a snack and that meant one thing, her break was over. It was time to go back to the incredibly boring task of building her house. 

_ “If only I could get someone to build it for me… “  _ she lamented to herself.

Her eyes fell on the yellow guy still glaring at her. Lemongrab had given her a pie, and pies came from ingredients, ingredients had to be crafted. LSP’s expert detective skills told her this meant he owned a crafting table. And where did people keep their crafting tables? In their houses. And if he could build one house, then he could build hers too. 

_ “Yes,”  _ she smiled evilly, “ _ if only…” _

“Soo…” she said sweetly, “what’s your name?”

“I am Lemongrab.” he said curtly, “third of my name and still annoyed. When will yoouu be leaving? ”

LSP ignored this last part “So… Lemmy- is it okay if I call you Lemmy? Well duh, obviously, who doesn’t want cool nicknames from me? Anyway are you good at building stuff?”

“None of your business.” Lemongrab didn’t look at her and just kept mysteriously staring in the other direction. LSP knew all about this sort of aloof behaviour, she did stuff like this all the time when she wanted people to think she was cooler than she actually was; he clearly just wanted to hide his building skills from her. 

“Okay okay.” she kept pushing, “So, I have this super cool thing that you should totally check out.” 

“Cool?” Lemongrab asked, “You found… ice?”

LSP let out a greatly exaggerated fake laugh. “Lemmy you’re too funnyyy! I bet you get invited to like, sooo many parties. And nah I just have an interesting thing. I think you’ll like it.” 

Lemongrab rubbed his hands together as he considered whether to go with her or not. Noone had ever told him he was funny before. Even if he didn’t exactly understand what he’d done that was so funny. “Nngh. Okay. Take me tooo thee… interesting item.”

LSP led him to her building site and pointed at her miserable ‘house.’ Lemongrab stood for a moment and then said bluntly “What about this is interesting?”

“I’m like… building a house but I’m just no good at it...” LSP said in her usual dramatic way, flailing her arms all over the place while Lemongrab watched in confusion, “but I bet you’re really good at building. Oh I know!” she pretended to have suddenly had an idea, “I bet you’re thinking the same thing right- yes LSP I WILL build your epic house for you!”

Lemongrab’s heart sank as he realised why she’d really called him over here. “No.” he said in a deadpan voice. 

“Whaddaya mean no?” she huffed, “This is the chance of a lumping lifetime.”

“No. Nein. I will do no house building for you, purple creature.” With that Lemongrab turned and walked away from her. She quickly floated after him. 

“Heey… come on…” she pleaded. Lemongrab frowned and walked a little faster, but she just hovered next to his head and kept pestering him. 

“Come on don’t be like this Lemmy.” LSP sulked and at this he stopped. 

“Don’t follow me.” he demanded angrily. “Leave mee and my tree alone. And…” Lemongrab’s tone changed from angry to hurt as he said, “and don’t call me Lemmy.”

LSP blinked in surprise. “Hey don’t be upset-”

“But I am… upset.” Lemongrab muttered at her, “I thought we were getting on well. I thought I had been wrong in my initial assessment of you and you were acceptable, like ice, even.

“Like ice?

“I thought you were... cool.”

“Hey I’m cool I’m cool! I’m, like super cool. I’m the coolest girl you’ll ever meet. Look, I’m sorry I tried to con free housing out of you ok? I made a mistake and I’m sorryyyy…” LSP said apologetically. She even brought her hands together to make an exaggerated begging motion that Lemongrab tried not to smile at, “We can build it together if you want?” 

“Tooogether? Build a… house?”

“Yeah totally!” she said enthusiastically, “I can go smash some trees to get wood and you can do the like, architecture.” By architecture LSP meant that Lemongrab would actually do all the hard work. 

Lemongrab considered this. “You are rather good at smashing trees.” he said eventually. “Okay. I will build thee… abode.”

“YEEESSS!” LSP did a stupid celebratory dance. “Okay I’ll go get some wood from some trees-” an alarmed look flashed across the lemon’s face so she quickly added, “I promise I’ll leave your tree alone though.”

Lemongrab relaxed and they started building the house. As it turned out, neither of them knew much about building anything. But after a while Lemongrab was able to figure out what a house was supposed to look like. He built some walls and a roof out of the wood that LSP kept dumping on him, and he had to admit that he was pretty proud of it so far. 

On these wood dumping trips LSP would stop and look at the house he was building. She’d give him a thumbs up or gush about it to him, saying confusing things like “this roof is sooo on fleek oh my glob!” and other things he didn’t really understand. But it was nice to see someone get so excited and happy about something he’d made. It made him feel… warm inside. 

It was dusk by the time the house was finished. LSP stood with him and admired the house they’d built (or rather, he’d built). Even though Lemongrab hadn’t built any doors so all the entrances were just holes LSP had to admit it was a lot better than anything she could’ve made- Lemongrab had even picked some flowers and placed them around the house in a sweet smelling circle as a final touch. While she wasn’t sure about it being the best, or the most beautiful house, it was definitely princess worthy. LSP squealed and pulled Lemongrab in for a brief tight hug that made him gasp. 

“Oh my glob it’s totally great! I’m moving in right now.” She let him go and went inside, leaving Lemongrab standing outside in flustered silence. 

It wasn’t long before he sheepishly followed her in. LSP turned to look at him and thought about whether to shoo him away. Before she could decide, an arrow embedded itself in the wall next to her. LSP snapped her head round to see a skeleton aiming for them through the doorway. 

They rapidly boarded up the door hole and awkwardly sat in the dark for a while, with the only sound being the noises of the mobs outside. 

“Do you like… have any coal?” LSP asked eventually. 

“Coal… coal… coal...” Lemongrab repeated as he checked his inventory.

“Yeah it’s black,” LSP explained, “and lumpy but not lumpy in a hot way like I am it’s-”

“I know what coal is.” Lemongrab said quickly, embarrassed about his echolalia, “I just… repeat words sometimes. I have to.” he threw the lump of goal to her, “mother gave me some coal. She gave meeee many things…”

“Like what? Gold and stuff?” LSP asked.

“Yes. Also… trauma…” 

LSP combined his coal and her stick into a torch. She set it down in the middle of the room so they were lit by a warm orange glow. Lemongrab daintily sat on the wooden floor he’d built, looking at her curiously. And maybe it was just the intimate lighting or the torchlight but LSP had to admit she found him at least a little bit cute. 

“Trauma?” she asked, “tell me about it. My parents are absolute D lists.”

LSP went into great detail about all the times her parents hadn’t bought her the things she wanted, and told him about the few times they had genuinely hurt her feelings. They didn’t have any wool to make beds so they stayed up like that all night, just talking to each other. 

Lemongrab told her about how his elder brothers had been blown up by a creeper. They’d respawned as just him- his Mother said there had been some sort of error in their coding, they were, after all, her first experiments gone wrong. He was explaining all this when LSP put a finger over his lips to silence him. He froze and felt all the lemon juice rush to his face at this sudden touch. 

“Listen,” she said. Lemongrab realised the sounds of the mobs had died down. “I think it’s safe to go out now.” 

LSP carefully destroyed one of the blocks making up the wall and peeked through the hole. She could see the grassy plain was spotted with zombies and skeletons burning in the sun’s light and that the sky was streaked with a peach coloured sunrise. She watched the slowly rising sun and thought about how pretty the full sky must be. 

“Hey.” she said to Lemongrab. 

“Mmm yes…” he replied

“Let’s go watch the sunrise on the roof.” She stated and started making a hole in the ceiling without waiting for a reply. 

“But Iii did not build a staircase…” Lemongrab worried out loud only for her to smile. 

“I’ll carry you, stupid.” Before he could say anything she picked him up and dragged him onto the roof with her. She plonked him down and felt him stiffen from shyness when she sat next to him. 

It wasn’t just his stiff pose that was distracting, it was the way she could see him sneaking glances at her out of the corner of her eye. “Dude,” she said eventually, “the sun is that way.” 

“I know where thee sun is.” Lemongrab mumbled, “But there is a thing I do not know.”

“Um, okaaay." She said, confused. 

“I-I am Lemongrab…” he said anxiously, “but yoouuu are… who?”

“Psh! I’m LSP! Everyone knows that.” She proclaimed. 

“El ess… pee?” he repeated slowly, saying each syllable carefully. He’d never heard such a weird name, if a bunch of letters could even be called a name. 

LSP could clearly see him struggling so she rolled her eyes and explained. “It stands for lumpy space princess.”

“You gave mee a nickname so… do I have to call you a nickname?” Lemongrab thought it would be nice to call her a nickname. Every time she called him Lemmy he felt a warm glow inside and it would be nice to make her feel the same way. 

“I mean not if you don’t want to.” she said awkwardly. 

“I want to.” He insisted. “Should Iii call you... Lumpy?”

She made a face. “Ew no. If you really want it then…" she paused and blushed, "I guess it’s okay if you call me princess.” she told him shyly. 

Lemongrab smiled and she watched as the rising square sun illuminated the bright yellow of his face. It hadn’t just been the torchlight, she decided, he actually was kinda cute. “Okay... Princess.”

And just like that it was a new day, with a new house and a new friend. 

  
  



	2. Butterflies and Bees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> minecraft bee minecraft bee minecraft b

“Now that we, like, have an epic house we should get stuff to put in it!” LSP started excitedly planning places to go that day and listing all the things they needed to do: go mining, build beds, make windows for their house etc. 

Lemongrab was vaguely aware of what LSP was saying but his mind was still reeling from the overwhelming fact that he had a friend and he wasn’t so much listening to her talk as he was watching her do it. Watching the adorable excited faces she made and the way she moved her hands as she talked. He was starting to really like LSP, or Princess as he was allowed to call her. That thought made him feel fuzzy inside. 

“So yeah whaddaya you wanna do first?”

“Hmm?” Lemongrab was caught off guard by her suddenly addressing him directly. 

“You weren’t listening? Seriously?” LSP rolled her eyes, “whatever, just get some wood or something. I’ll meet you back here later okay?”

“O-okaay…” LSP floated down from the roof and waved at him before leaving. He watched her disappear into the forest biome before sliding off the roof himself. 

LSP had said to go and get wood and while he didn’t like being ordered around he supposed he should listen to her. She seemed to know a lot more about survival than he did- she’d come up with the idea of building a house and everything. If he was on his own he’d still be sleeping under his apple tree. 

Before leaving he took a few steps away to admire the house he’d built and noticed something. He’d dug up a bunch of flowers from the plain biome they were living in and replanted them around their house to make it look nice, and it did look nice- he really liked it. But something else seemed to like it too. 

Lemongrab had never seen a mob like this before. It was a yellow and brown striped cuboid that gave off a buzzing sound as it lazily floated from flower to flower. He cautiously approached it and it buzzed around him close enough for him to see it’s furry body and blue eyes. 

“This iiiis private property.” Lemongrab told it, but the creature didn’t respond. “I am going to have toooo ask you to vacate theeee premises.” It seemed to get the idea because it floated off. 

Lemongrab watched it go as something left him all by himself for the second time that day. When Lemongrab thought about it like that he felt bitter. LSP could’ve asked him to come have fun with her instead of just abandoning him. Maybe she thought he was boring? 

Lemongrab chased after the creature. If he followed it maybe it would lead him to something interesting, and he could show LSP, and then she wouldn’t think he was boring and he’d be allowed to hang out with her. 

The weird mob buzzed around the plains, going from flower to flower. It seemed to really like those. It weaved in between the trees and Lemongrab was able to break some wood blocks for LSP as he followed it. Finally it came to a tree in the middle of the plain with something… weird stuck to it. 

Lemongrab stared at the dripping block in confusion as the mob crawled in. What the hell was this? The block was brown but clearly not wooden- he didn’t even know what it was made of, or why it was covered with holes. Each hole secreted a thick yellow coloured liquid. Was this yellowy stuff… some kind of water? 

“Are yoouuu… peeing in there?” Lemongrab asked worriedly but there was no answer from the fuzzy thing that had crawled back out to buzz around. 

Lemongrab sniffed the air. It seemed really nice and sweet, maybe this was some sort of food? He cautiously touched one of the drips and licked his finger. It tasted good!

He would’ve gone in for another taste but the buzzing sound the creature was making changed to something angrier. Lemongrab turned to see the same cuboid with its eyes flashing red heading directly towards him. He decided not to stick around and wait to find out what would happen if it caught him. 

Lemongrab ran away screaming with the thing chasing after him. He tried to lose it in the trees but it was persistent! He looked over his shoulder hoping to see that the coast was clear but instead he saw it gaining on him. 

LSP heard a sound coming from the forest she’d just come from and looked up. Lemongrab burst through the trees and she waved at him. “Hi did you get the-”

“NNGGGH MURDER!” Lemongrab screeched and LSP realised he wasn’t just running he was running from something. “MURDER! IT’S GOING TOOO KILL MEEE!”

Lemongrab grabbed her hand and dragged her into their house, slamming the door LSP had just put up. She’d also put some other things up, like a crafting table and a furnace but Lemongrab was too preoccupied with his near death experience to say anything about it. “I think we are safe from the monster… for now…”

“What monster?”LSP asked curiously. “Did a skeleton hide under the trees from the sun or something?”

“No no no no… this fiend was no ordinary mob. Never have I seen such a rage filled, evil little cube.”

“Little cube?” LSP questioned. 

“Yes! I touched it’s weird pee coloured juice stuff and it chased me all the way home. Truly evil. That must have been why it was near our flowers in the morning... it was scouting our house to plan our MURDER!” 

Little cube… pee colours juice… LSP put two and two together and put her head in her hands. “...You’ve never seen a bee before have you?” 

“A what now?”

“A bee stupid, a bee! It’s like… tiny and stripy and it makes honey in a nest or a hive.” LSP explained to him, “Lemme guess, you tried to take its honey because you’re stuuuupid and the bee got mad and chased after you?”

“None of your business.” Lemongrab said coldly. 

“Okay whatever.” LSP turned to the crafting table, “Did you get that wood like I asked or were you too busy running around screaming?”

“Nothing wrong with running around screaming…” Lemongrab muttered and threw the wood blocks on the floor for her.

LSP set the wood block down on the crafting table and turned it into planks, then she set down the planks and separated them into sticks. 

“Watch this,” she grinned at him. LSP set down a stick and then got some cobblestone from her inventory. She expertly placed the stone down and picked up a sword when she was finished. “Cool or what?”

“Mmm… I suppose that is cool.” Lemongrab admitted. “But I already have a sword. And it’s iron not some stone stuck to a stick.” he bragged to her but she ignored him and kept making tools. 

“Have this, loser.” she chucked a stone shovel at him. “If you want honey so bad go dig some sand up so we can make bottles.”

“Make bottles… out of sand?” Lemongrab laughed at her, “I think it is yooouuu who is stupid…” and then a genius idea struck him, “loser space princess.”

LSP cringed at his awful pun. “Wow you really don’t know anything about anything. Whatever, I’ll show you.”

LSP carefully opened the door and quickly looked around. The bee was nowhere in sight so she signalled to Lemongrab that it was safe to leave. Lemongrab crept out much more nervously than she did and stood right behind her for safety. LSP supposed that even though he was stupid, he did have moments like that where he was kinda cute. He would probably be really happy when they could actually get some honey. She’d like that. 

They dug some sand up from a nearby river LSP had found and they stuck the blocks in the furnace with the rest of Lemongrab’s coal. They were both impatient so they stood over the furnace and obsessively clicked on it to see if their glass was done. The second a piece of glass was finished they squabbled over who got to hold it, and it went on like that till everything was finished. 

“Okay, you go and like, put some epic windows in our house while I make a bottle because you’re clearly too dumb to know how to do it yourself.”

“I know how to make a ba-ttol.” Lemongrab lied stubbornly. 

“Okay you make it then.” Lemongrab was left staring at the crafting table with no idea what to do. He randomly put down pieces of glass till he got the right recipe through pure luck. He snatched it up and excitedly ran out to show her. 

“Princess! Princess look!” Lemongrab waved the bottle above his head and pointed to it excitedly. “I did it!”

LSP gave him a thumbs up and smiled. Lemongrab really was very cute when he got excited. And it was obvious he was trying to impress her, that was cute too. LSP considered the possibility that Lemongrab might maybe perhaps possibly have a little crush on her (which was completely understandable- she was the most beautiful person alive after all) and she realised she’d like that much more than she was willing to admit. 

“Hey nice!” LSP floated down so he could proudly show it to her, “you actually did it.”

“See! I am not stupid.”

“I guess not… anyway we need to make a campfire now.”

“Whyyy?”

LSP fished out a final piece of coal from the furnace and used the rest of her sticks and wood to make a campfire. “You’ll see. Now show where the nest was.”

Lemongrab led her to what he assumed was the “nest”- the weird dripping block. And warned her not to touch it. “If yoouuu touch it all the bee creatures get angry and try to attack you!”

“That’s why you put the campfire down under the nest, silly.” LSP teased him and placed the fire on the floor so the pixelated clouds of smoke rose to hit the honey filled nest. “Now if you take it they won’t get angry,”

“Nnnngh Iiii don’t know…” Lemongrab was still scared of bees so when two started buzzing around the tree he couldn’t help but feel nervous. 

“It’s fine! You just get the honey with the bottle you made. The bees won’t like, attack you or anything. It’s fine!”  
Lemongrab didn’t do anything. LSP sighed. “Look, just trust me okay.”

Lemongrab did trust LSP. He cautiously swiped the bottle through the nest, trying to do it as quickly as possible and stood completely still, eyes locked on the bees. But their eyes were still blue and they kept harmlessly buzzing around them. LSP had been right.

“See,” LSP waved her arms around, “they don’t lumping care!” 

“No. No they dooo not.” Lemongrab held up his honey filled bottle to examine the thick sauce like substance inside. It was a beautiful golden colour and he liked how it slowly dribbled round the bottle as he swirled it. “Honey is nice…”

“Yeah totally! You can eat it and stuff. And also you can get honey combs from nests.” LSP told him.

“Combs?” Lemongrab tried to look through one of the now empty holes, “there’s combs in this thing?”

“No not actual combs you dummy. Honey combs, they’re these block things that you can eat.”

“Oooh… mm how do weee get honey comb?”

“You have to use shears but we can’t make any because we don’t have any iron.” LSP said glumly. 

“Weeee caan… get iron.” Lemongrab suggested, “and then make the shear things.”

“Yeah but I’ll have to go mining. I found a cave and everything and I made a pickaxe.” 

Lemongrab couldn’t help but notice that “we” had turned pretty quickly into “I”. LSP wanted to go off by herself again, without him. “Can I come with you?” he blurted out. 

He expected her to say that he was too dumb to come with her, or something, but instead LSP smiled at him and said “Yeah of course! It’ll be really fun to have you come.”

Lemongrab laughed awkwardly. “Okaaay.” The sun had started to set and that meant hostile mobs were about to start spawning. “Let’s go toomorrow…”

“Yeah,” LSP nodded at him and they headed back home.

**Author's Note:**

> Minecraft!LG1 and 2's last words were "Creeper? Aw Man!" 
> 
> Anyway I barely play Minecraft so if anyone has any suggestions for stuff minecraft!Lumpygrab should do pls... send them over...


End file.
